Daddies and Daughters

I have been putting off coming back to my blog because I knew I could not move forward with a post about my father passing away. I am grateful that I know exactly where he is now, I can not imagine how families can go through this without the assurance that their loved one in in Heaven.

January 21, 2010 will go down as one of the most heartbreaking days in my life, I still cry daily over the loss of my father. Brandon went to my parents house to sit with my mom the night my dad died, I think we all knew that it was only hours away, but no one dared mention it. As the night wore on they had to call the nurse out to help relieve the pain he was going through and sometime between 2-3 am my father went home to meet his maker. Brandon and my mom had drifted off to sleep just minutes before he passed ( a blessing from God I believe). Brandon had to be the one to wake my mom up and let her know that he was gone. At 3:45 am I heard the key in the front door and knew that Brandon had come to get me. The tears would just not come, I think that I just expected my world to end at the same time. How does a daddy's girl go on without her daddy???

My father was there for me from day one and I have to remind myself that he is still there now, just watching from a little further away than he used to.

I Love you Daddy!!! I hope that I can be half the parent to my children that you have been to me.

It's funny, but I have found myself praying that Anabelle would not be as close to Brandon as I was to my dad, crazy I know, but I though that I could one day spare her the pain that I now feel . I know that this is the exact opposite of what my dad would want from me, I know that he cherished the relationship that my sister and I had with him. How do you guard your heart from the pain of loss? You can't, if you never feel the pain of loss then you have never made real connections and that is the greatest loss.

I am sure that there will be tears for years to come, I just pray that they turn form tears of pain to tears of joy at some point.

Noah asks every morning "Are you still sad that Papa is in Kevin(Heaven)?" All I can say is yes I am still sad, but it is a little less today than it was yesterday. In true 3 year old wisdom he responds"well mom, you should not be sad, you will go to Kevin sooner than I will so you will see him first" Thats right buddy...mommy is working her way to Kevin to see Papa....

New Year..New Me

Ok time to cleanse my head, body, and soul. I am ready to take this new year by the horns. This will be my year, I will not let all the bad things pull me down.

I will blog more, I need to get all these thoughts out and put them on paper (um..digital paper). I will love my children better. I will be a better wife. I will be a better me.

Ebates

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=tMHALTRRgttSV30cJ7WxcQ%3D%3D

Ok so here is the deal, click above and sign up to get rebates on the places that you already shop (old navy, target, JC Penny). All the places that we love to spend money anyway. If you want to pay me to shop at your store then i am all over it...wouldn't you agree?

CVS

Ok, I have never been big on coupons and all that jazz, but suddenly I find the checking account bare and the realization that I have been wasting hundreds of dollars a years smacks me right in the face.

The new me cuts all the coupons I can find, downloads every ecoupon out there, and even reads all the sales papers to be sure I buy from the right store. Big Daddy wend with me today to CVS and was amazed that I walked out of the store with all the following:

• 2 jumbo Packs PullUps
• 1 Free Soy Candle by Glade
• 1 Solie Razor with 4 extra cartridges
• 2 Old Spice Gel Deodorants
• 2 Colgate Gel Toothpaste

All for a grand total of $7.99 out of Pocket!!!

I am hooked on this whole coupon thing! I headed to Kroger after that and saved $76.52. My goal is to that lady that walks into the grocery store and all the employees run the other way because they know that I will have a HUGE stack of coupons !!!!

Pisca

Just playing around with some of Anabelle's pictures on the computer. I can't believe she only has a bow in her hair for two of there..what kind of a girl mom am I??? My sister in law would be so disappointed in me.

SwagBucks.com

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=817477

Check this out, it pays you to shop and search the web...for every friend that you have sign up and shop you get a match of their points. a lady I work with just bought a new Apple Laptop for her daughter with these points!!

Ok this this post will be short, but I just have to brag on Hunter for a little bit. Hunter was 4 when Noah was born and i agonized for weeks over how Noah's birth would effect Hunter...in the end it was all wasted time, Hunter loves Noah to death.

When Anabelle was born I again worried about how both my boys would handle their new roles but I rejoiced in the fact that Noah had such a good example to follow....

In true F Family form I believe that my boys were born fathers, Anabelle does not stand a chance when she gets older, she will have one "Big Daddy" and two little daddies (hey I like Big Daddy...I think it will stick). My boys will not let Anabelle crawl over a toy without helping her get over it or moving it out of the way. I have to remind both of them that she has to learn to do things on her own.

Hunter has been such an amazing example for Noah, this is not to say Hunter is perfect, there are days that I want to beat him (figuratively, of course). Generally speaking I have been very please with how well my oldest has accepted his place in our family.

I LOVE YOU HUNTER!!!